Originally Posted by
Zube 
Would it be appropriate to go to a mtg. with her, so long as it were open? I see family members come to open AA mtgs a lot, mostly speaker mtgs. Not sure if Alanon has similar protocol?
Alanon has the same protocol as AA regarding open meetings, you're right. In fact, in my area, virtually all the Alanon open meetings are listed as "Open Alanon with AA participation", having a speaker from each team, as it were.
My RAH and I have attended some of these and find it helpful to hear another viewpoint; I'd imagine you might find the same w/your future wife.
I think it's great that you're thinking along these lines. My A was honest enough w/me when we first got together to tell me about his A background. He was drinking at the time, but not in a fashion that appeared to be a problem at all, and I somehow figured that was OK, even tho I had a little Alanon experience about 20 years earlier and probably should have known better. Had he/we gone to meetings either alone or together on occasion, I can't help but wonder how different the past 17 years would have been.
Again, kudos to you for thinking this way.