So is loneliness a part of the healing? Do I just need to busy myself in other ways besides trying to fill the loneliness? I honestly do not know how to heal myself. All I know is that it is boring, and lonely without someone to share stuff with.
I am very much a night owl, and usually stay up to two, three, sometimes four in the morning. At those late hours I have no support system that I can call, which makes it tough not to call my AH. I know nobody said that this is going to be easy. I'd really like to find a support system if I can during the rough times.
It was really nice sharing things with my disappeared guy friend. I also typically tend to relate better with men, because we tend to share common interests. It's hard to find female friends that are into technology development, nerdy sci-fi, and video games like I am. I do know honestly though, that my feelings for this particular male friend were not platonic even though I was not seeking the next "relationship."
How do I live alone? How do I begin to heal? I guess those are the questions I need to figure out an answer to.