FWIW, I do not have children, at least not human kids, I have two very cute miniature dachshunds who love me to pieces and never talk back. hehe
This post is about effects of alcoholics on children. I don't know if this is exactly related but how you feel now, the fear, worry, etc lightens as you remove yourself from the craziness of an alcoholic not actively working recovery. It does take time, but it happens eventually. There are still regular life stresses, but you (we)(I) are in control of your own destiny when no longer involved with someone who is unpredictable.
Part of the fear/worry/anxiety that I felt as the partner of an alcoholic and I would imagine that ACOA's feel is always waiting for the other shoe to drop. My mom was not an alcoholic, but had a brain injury and her reasoning ability and behavior is a LOT like a dry drunk. My father failed to recognize the reality of her limitations until it was too late and I developed terrible anxiety as I spent the most time with her when I was little. She was in no position to be a responsible parent and was extremely unpredictable sometimes dangerously so. I was around 35 when I finally realized the extent of some of the emotional abuse I suffered from her. I have little to no relationship with her now and I wish that my father had recognized that the bad situation that was our family was bad earlier on and taken action earlier. I don't blame him, but he was adult and only one in control back then.