I agree 100%. Just don't expect your AH to be willing to do this or wait him out hoping he will.
You're describing good parenting and logical behavior.
My AH ONLY was willing to behave this way once the court was watching. When it was me asking and pleading he had no interest. And I think that's pretty common w A's.
That's all I was saying.
Originally Posted by
hopeful4 
I think the counselor was more saying look, you are both the parents of these children, it is better to split peacefully than be at each other's throat. I agree with him totally. Nasty divorces have destroyed children I know. No matter what happens, I don't want that. That is something we discussed right away as one of the goals of going to counseling in the first place at the first visit w/the counselor. Things were very emoational yesterday, I think he was scared we would go right outside and tell each other to cram it quite frankly, and that is no way to end a 16 year relationship. And in reality, the relationship never ends b/c you will both be the parents forever. So you have to find a way to communicate effectively together, married or not.