I think the counselor was more saying look, you are both the parents of these children, it is better to split peacefully than be at each other's throat. I agree with him totally. Nasty divorces have destroyed children I know. No matter what happens, I don't want that. That is something we discussed right away as one of the goals of going to counseling in the first place at the first visit w/the counselor. Things were very emoational yesterday, I think he was scared we would go right outside and tell each other to cram it quite frankly, and that is no way to end a 16 year relationship. And in reality, the relationship never ends b/c you will both be the parents forever. So you have to find a way to communicate effectively together, married or not.