Florence for the last few yrs I have taken the girls to get xAH a gift and will do so this yr too bc they enjoy choosing something and the spirit of giving is what I love.... And the girls have asked xAH to take them to get me something bc I guess they enjoy it.... I know the feeling you're describing of feeling sad that this year you won't get a gift. I was thinking that lately too. My FOO toxic as they are used to do a stocking exchange where we all picked a name etc... That may still happen but I have been uninvited to thanksgiving so I can't imagine they want me a part of gift exchanging.
I'm with you that it all sucks and sometimes it's hard to just suck it up.