Thanks LMN, I am not sure strength is what got me out or the fact that I was living in shear insanity.
It's hard. I thought I was past some of these things and on the road but things still come to haunt me when I least expect it.
I am looking forward to getting past this or having a healthy relationship or not... maybe just accepting alone....
I never wanted the divorce. I never wanted to be alone. I never envied single people. I filed to scare him. I really thought he would be like, ok she is serious, i will go to rehab. But here we are.... going though this divorce and he is not even close to admitting he does drugs much less needs help. (he is back to the complete denial stage of even doing dope. when the signs are sssoo there)
This is so hard....I have been divorced before. And zoso is right. adding a drug addiction on top is even a hundred times worse...
I actually told a friend of mine years ago that if my husband was unfaithful I would probably not leave him. I wouldn't leave him for anything. But how naive I was... I had no clue that there were things out there that could rip a relationship to shreds as this drug has....
A mistress doesn't hold a candle to meth.....