So sorry blueholly! Its so normal to have those feelings. Anger for his choices and behaviors and addictions...anger for letting you and your children down.
Your children are angry also...hence them lashing out to you. This is normal as well.
Not sure how old your children are..perhaps in a loving voice tell them that daddy is sick.
Your husband is in a very dark place. I almost feel as if they are dying in front of you. If you don't feel emotion at times you would be heartless.