Originally Posted by
NikNox 
Absolutely. We completely understand this and so does SD. We have always been concerned that SD would follow in her mother's footsteps, and alcoholism is also rife in SD's mother's family - her father died from it, two of her brothers are alcoholics and her paternal grandfather was also an alcoholic. The genetic link is strong. SD understands that alcoholism is a form of self harm and has worked through this in particular with her counsellors and us. There isn't much we can do about the damage that has already been caused, except try to ensure that her future is much better and support her through her own journey.
There are some fMRI type scanning that can help give the look-ahead at this point, but that work is considered more research than treatment. At least for now.
BIG thing you can do for now is to help her FEEL safe, and also KEEP her safe.
Sounds like the Grandparents are clueless meddlers and enablers and you should likely keep them completely out of the process. The meddlers and enablers only pretend to help others. Really they behave the way they do for themselves.
If you can, I would go to some extreme efforts as far as the Alateen stuff goes. Even if just Alanon is available locally, go to them -- Alateen is sponsored by Alanon, and Alanon conducts the training for Alateen workers. Start barking up the tree through the local Alanon hierarchy to get you help.
[YOU WILL HELP MANY, MANY, OTHERS BY DOING THAT]
My kids have absolutely loved Alateen. I think it feels wonderful to them that they are not alone. Same as SR and Alanon does for us. Go Figure, huh?
At present she is so against drinking, and gets irate when she hears of peers drinking. She had a massive outburst in class not so long ago when a group of girls were giggling about how they'd got drunk at a party. She stood up, in the middle of class, and said 'you wouldn't think it was so f'ing funny if your own mother was an alcoholic' and stormed out. Neither my husband or I drink much at all (me about 2 units a year!), but even when my husband does have a beer, she hates it and has a go at him so he now rarely drinks at all, and if he does it's when she's not around or in bed.
You follow that a strong reaction is still an indication of a Major underlying problem, right?
This behavior will also isolate her.
When she is "All Clear," it will not have much meaning.