Ah no, you are not unloveable. You can't control your Dad, who he sees, what he does, or when he drinks. Maybe it's a good thing to get a little bit of space between you two for awhile. If you think your therapist isn't helping, find another until you get one that can help you. You're not a loser, you are a bright person going to college, preparing yourself for a wonderful future. As far as your drinking, by your post it sounds like you already know you are predisposed to alcoholism. That's scary, be careful. I won't preach, you already know. Just know this, you are not a reflection of what your Dad does or doesn't do. You are a shining star just as you are. Praying for you sweet thing.