The heart takes a long time to heal. Forgive the analogy, but it's the best way I can explain how it is for me.
3 years ago I had to put down my beloved cat Toby, it was his time and the kind and loving thing to do. But it ripped my heart apart and even today I cannot think of that day without tears. But I CAN smile at the fond memories of when Toby was alive and what a very special cat he was. He was unlike any cat I have ever known.
I don't have a cat today because as much as I know the joy a cat can bring, I cannot bear the thought of my heart ever hurting that much again. That's how bad my pain was and the scars it left.
One day I will get a cat anyway and stop letting fear of pain direct my choices. One day I will be ready. But that day is not today.
I think time will take care of your heart too, Zoso. You will find love, it will be different from the love you knew before, each love is different. But this time you are healthy and know what to look for. And you know how to survive any pain it may or may not bring.
Life does that, it gives us time to rest and heal, then gives us opportunity to make better decisions in the future based on the lessons of the past.
Some very lucky lady will find her way into your life, and when she does we will all be here cheering you both on.
Hugs