I guess in the end, I am ready to let go and as Lizwig said above "not deny her, her pain". I've known for some time I was going to have to do this, and honestly I sort of already have but I'm to the point that I'm not just saying it, I truly mean it. I didn't expect to feel like I was grieving, or the emotions I would go through when I decided I have to let her go. I have to let her go, but it tears my heart out. I've always been the "big sister", I've always been there for her. I can't be any more, but then a little voice in my head says "maybe she will call tomorrow and REALLY mean it this time".
How do you know, if they are serious the next time, or if it's just another crying wolf scenario. We've been through it so much, but (as many probably think)..maybe next time she'll mean it.
I also know this makes me sound like a drama queen, but I'm also have difficulty with how some people view the situation. I've heard everything from people who don't know the entire story. Someone said to me last night "I have no sympathy for her, she made her choices and now she's getting what she deserves". I understand that, however I truly feel like I'm almost mourning her death, and I don't think WE deserve this. I also don't think someone would say that if a person was laying in a coffin after dying from lung cancer after smoking all their life, or dead from an accident after they've drove crazy all their life. It just brings me to tears, the hatred and anger other people have. I don't know how to cope with their words during this sad/hurtful time of letting her go.
I'm so messed up over this. Thanks for listening everyone. I wish you all the strength that you need through this journey, and your thoughtfulness and words truly help.