This is a lot all at once for you. I'm sorry you had such bad parents, like I did. You didn't deserve that. Please read my blog, we have some common experiences, it might be of some help. My Mom didn't leave us but she joined in and allowed my Dad to beat us saying, "Not where it shows John!, not where it shows" So she was emotionally absent. I hope you have some spiritual and emotional support for this trying time. Can you attend any meetings or find a therapist? Let us know how you are doing.