Dear Readerbaby---first of all--Congrats on stepping back from trying to manage his recovery. That is a good first step!
Please don't interpret what I am about to say as that you should get involved in his recovery program. This is for your information:
A person doesn't Have to go to an inpatient rehab program in order to begin recovering from alcoholsim. There is no magic wand in the rehab centers. They seem to work best for those who are ready for recovery---and it can get them on the path to BEGIN REVOVERY---but, the alcoholic still need a rigorous program--and I mean really rigorous---after the rehab. stint. Sure, rehab can be nice for those with the time and money.
I have, over the years, seen the WORST alcoholics go into recovery with the program of AA---with a sponsor and working all of the 12 steps---with recovery as the center focus of their lives. I have known people to transform their lives. It does take 100% effort and dedication. Especially in the very beginning.
Readerbaby, In my opinion, the deciding factor will be how bad he really wants recovery and how ready he is to commit himself to a long-term program---literally a lifestyle change. Rehab won't hurt....but, it is not the whole or even the main factor.
You won't know where he is with this---his actions will demonstrate how ready for recovery he really is. You can't even tell by his current words. time and his actions will tell the tale.
Detox and rehab are two separate steps. Detox is to get the person safely through the physical detox from the alcohol. This can be done, best---in a hospital setting. It can also be done, in certain circumstances, at home under a doctor's supervision. (hospital is always safest).
I am giving you my take on this--so that it might help you with having realistic expectations---for your own education.
some people may disagree with me--I speak from my own life experience with alcoholism.
dandylion