20 years ago, a judge said to my ex husband and I " I am a swipe away of ordering both of you to a weekend in jail, my only question is, which one of you want to go first?"
Divorce and custody are a HUGE emotional issue for those who are living it, I get it, it can be pure hell.
The family court system is not intended to manage our emotional lives. hard as it is to believe the guidelines are in place to promote a healthy,stable and nurturing environment for our children. They are only concerned with FACTS. And sometimes even the facts get swept under the carpet........
Like yourself, I was livid with the court system, how dare they tell me what was going to be best for my girls, I was their mother, and I could manage just fine. Actually, the anger and stress of the whole situation, made matters worse, I was not thinking or acting clearly, I was so damn angry, I believe I lost my focus, and instead of concentrating on the kids, I was fighting an imaginary battle in my head. I just could not understand why the court would not take into consideration my testimony, or my girls feelings, or the selfish actions of my ex husband. It was if the judge was deaf, he was not hearing, or listening, he had zero reaction to anything, guess it was because he had heard it so many times before. But I really thought our case was the exception, but no, we too were just a number, another statistic.
20 years later, I can admit today, i could have handled this differently. My anger and hostility led me down an ugly path. At the time, I knew I was right and refused to back down. Well being right means NOTHING to the family courts, we are in their sandbox, and we are expected to play by their rules.
It's kind of like the concept of "teach to the highest level" and the rest of the students will just naturally fall in rank, well we both know that doesn't happen, there will always be circumstances that prevents that from happening.
Maybe, just maybe the co parenting counseling will have a positive result. I would think if you go into this with the intention of this helping versus this is pure bullsh*t ((which it very well maybe) maybe something good can come of it.
Wishing you peace, friend.