I'm so sorry you're forced to live like this. And I'm happy you found us, and posted, because those of us who are parents need to know what it's like to be a kid in a family where someone's an alcoholic.
This was like a knife to my heart:
sometimes i cant help but get frustrated and yell back he has thrown the strainer full of dishes at me locked me in my room kicked my dog and my mother says NOTHING
That's my oldest daughter. My other kids would just try to sneak away when their dad was accusing them of not helping or doing something wrong. She would yell back at him, and he would be mean and verbally abusive to her. AND I DID NOTHING. Well, most of the time, I would intervene and try to redirect her to something else or try to get him to pay attention to something else. But I never once stood up for her when he attacked her and said "NO. You are WRONG. She is a CHILD and you cannot treat her this way."
There is no defending your mother. As a parent, it's your damn responsibility to defend your children. Always. She is failing you.
There is a reason she's failing you, though. She's scared. Maybe more scared than you are.
Do you have any support or help outside the family? Are you in school? Is there a counselor or nurse you can talk to? A pastor? Some other trusted adult? You are more than welcome here but I wish you also had someone in your life who could give you a hug and take you out for ice cream and say this to you and look you in the eye so you know it's the truth:
None of this is your fault.
You can't fix your stepdad. You can't save your mom. You can save yourself (and your dog!). You can build your own life and set an example for your siblings (if they're younger). Keep breathing. Keep planning. January is not far away.
Hugs.