I am so very sorry for you loss ((hug)).
Only she could have changed it, right?
Yes, only she could have changed it.
It made sense that I was upset with her for what she was doing, right?
Yes, it makes sense that you were upset with her.
How do I accept that she's gone? How do I cope with the grief of losing this relationship?
The answers to these questions will come in time, but they will come. Grief is something we all experience in our own time and at our own pace. Remember the good times and rely on your good memories to get you through. As for the guilt? Let it go, you knew as much as she wanted you to know, I know that isn't much, if any, comfort, but it is wasted emotion and very misplaced.
I wish you well and hope peace of mind for you. I lost my father to advanced liver cancer in August so I do know the pain you are suffering from. I have moments of anger at him for dying, followed by moments of extreme sadness and then the realization that is at peace and pain free, he suffers no longer.
Your husband and your boys are there for you and you are there for them. Tell your boys about your wonderful mommy (they don't need to know about the end) and build their memories of what a wonderful mommy they have.
I am sorry for the reason you are here, but welcome to the SR family. We are here for you and again my condolences on your loss.
Last edited by ladybug77; 10-30-2013 at 05:31 PM.
Reason: typo