I did the same thing with my parents. I thought my AM was the cause of all my issues, but it turns out that my grandmother had a lot to do with teaching me how to be a classic codependent and enabler. My dad left my mom when I was three, and he never stood a chance at custody back then. The courts were still granting custody to mothers all the time unless they were incarcerated. As I got older, I was so enmeshed in the brainwashing and trash talking about my dad that I bought it all. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I realized all of this stuff, so that's been the focus of my therapy. I'm unlearning those codependent and ACoA behaviors and attempting to become more "normal."