Welcome.
I, too, have a father diagnosed as a 'dry drunk,' although in his case because he could stop drinking whenever he felt like it. But, like you, the behaviors and control never changed.
I, too, felt and often still feel, that I can't claim to have come from an alcoholic home, because there was none of the falling down, vomiting, embarrassed to have friends come over stuff. And yet, here I am.
On occasion, there would be outbursts of physical violence. Anger, criticism, and swearing were daily fare. (They still would be if I went back.)
I constantly felt I was getting everything wrong. When I did A, he'd yell that I should have done B, and when I did B, he yelled I should have done C. I was well into my adult years before I finally understood it wasn't me--that no matter what I did, it would have been wrong, because he was angry and looking for a reason to vent, and he was bound to find it.
In short, you'll find many people here who understand, who have been there. Welcome.