I recognize it in my ex, but I also recognize it in myself (struggles with depression and codependency). All of these things were impediments to me getting on with my life, and occasionally they pop up with the crazies and complicate things.
All we can do is move through those feelings of fear and self-loathing, and find healthy experiences and feelings to set alongside these old ways of thinking. I've found that over time my good feelings and experiences (simple things -- my kids, bike rides, animals, stupid jokes, new people, learning to cook) are beginning to outnumber the old. This is where I find my peace, and how I drown out the small, sad voice that says I'm a loser and a failure and justifies all the crazy that goes with it.
I don't know how it works for the recovering alcoholic, but this is how it is for me.