Originally Posted by
lizatola 
I feel like we're not doing enough work on my issues. I sometimes go there feeling like she's just a friend that I'm venting to and I'm looking for more deep stuff at this point. She's also not taking my insurance anymore and I'm paying out of of pocket because I haven't met my insurance deductible so it's getting expensive to pay to just vent for an hour. It's just hard to think of moving on after 18 months with her but I'm kind of in a stalled place right now and I'm soooo ready to move on and grow!
Liz, right here are 3 valid reasons to look for a new therapist or take other steps: 1. you're looking for deeper work; 2. it's too expensive, no longer accepting insurance; 3. YOU are ready to move forward.
This next is just my personal view, based on outside perspective and not privy to all details: it's sounds like in the session she brought up the infidelity, you had brought up the convo where he discussed the girl putting out as a reason for the guy to stay. In logic, the contrapositive of that statement would be if the guy doesn't stay, it's because she isn't putting out. I would also guess that your prior sessions included details of your relationship with your AH, including your sexual relationship. I can see where some one would put pieces together. I can't comment on whether her broaching the subject at that time was unprofessional, or transference, or inappropriate. But, perhaps she is trying to bring to your attention other details of your relationship that she thought you may not have been facing. IDK, really, I don't; I'm throwing out a possibility.
If it was me, if I could deal with the cost issue, if I wanted to move ahead, and if I didn't want to lose the 18 mos. with my therapist, I'd probably be discussing the fact that I take issue with her statement - or manner of stating - with her, and telling her I feel like I'm not making progress, that I need more direction in our sessions.
I hope any of that makes sense. (((hugs)))