You have 8 days Alpha, that's good. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, the thing that has finally kept me sober for the last 78 days was finally admitting--no really
feeling--deep down to my very core that I was an alcoholic and that I could never drink again.
I also finally removed any lingering thoughts that I could someday drink with control. You may want to look back and see if you let those "lingering notions" get the best of you.
Even if you're not in AA, I suggest reading Chapter 3 of the Big Book,
More about Alcoholism. And really reflect on what's written there. One doesn't have to be a 12-stepper to benefit from the information in that chapter.
Whatever you do, don't give up. You don't have to live a lie, you can make continious sobriety your reality.
Big Book On Line - Table of Contents