Letting go is painful. When we are not given the choice to continue a relationship, it's even harder to let go. I've been in your shoes, where I felt like there was something I needed to hold on to. For me, it was a deep fear of rejection and abandonment by someone who loved me. It wasn't really about him, but about me.
Is it possible for you to go no contact? Please consider it. Daily communication sort of prolongs the agony. It continues to feed the relationship or provide your daily fix, so to speak. It's hard, I know because I have felt that deep pain, but if you honestly love him, the best way to honor him is to respect his needs in his recovery and let him go...completely. It is possible to love, but love from a distance. And then start to put your focus on finding your happy. Find your happy without depending on another person to provide it.