People think I gave up on my brother years ago too. I didn't. I spent years trying to help him. Fly out to his new location and spend money putting his place together. Bailing him out of jail. Finding a lawyer. Trying to find work for him. Getting him into rehabs. Sitting at his bedside in ICU more than once. He was never truly appreciative, and would always get hurtful and mean when he drank.
I finally realized that I could "let go or be dragged". I had to respect that no matter what I did, he was making his own choices. I hated his choices, still do, but they're his to make. So I detached. I keep a distance, I do not get involved. I do not rescue. I will always love him as my brother, but he is not in my hands...he's on his own path. He knows if he ever decides to work on recovery I am here for him. Don't know your daughter, but can understand her decision.