Registered

I found this board about a month ago and have seen my story reflected in so many others I have read here. I am amazed by the supportive responses and feel comfortable to share a little myself.

Basic background - I am married to an alcoholic who also has bi-polar disorder and is using marijuana daily. Our relationship has always been rocky - duh!!

Without boring everyone with the finer details, the reason I have not separated from AH is that I am concerned about leaving him with the children unsupervised. He tends to sleep a lot during the day - drink a lot when he is awake, smokes weed every day, drives when he has been drinking and using weed. He would go out at night and leave them alone in the care of the oldest, a young teenager. I'm sure you can imagine what I am concerned about.

I used to think that I would be the stabilising force in their lives and protect them from this dysfunctional behaviour but I am finding that this isn't really working out the way I had hoped. For example, I have set a boundary of no alcohol in the house. Now AH storms around saying 'I need a drink but mum won't let me have one.' Then he will go to the pub, drive home hours later stinking like the pub floor and pass out.

So I am obviously not protecting the children from anything - but I am concerned about the lack of suitable care he will provide if we separate and I have to send the children to spend time with him.

Can anyone who has been in this situation share how they got their head around this one?