Lots of love to you Hux xxx
I will just echo what Jeni has said, and for the record I am fiercely independent too but have learnt that the strong thing to do is to ask for help when you need it. I didn't like it at first. I was talking to someone in AA when I first went and I said that I wasn't very good at asking for help. He very flatly replied 'unfortunately that's why so many of us don't recover'. It was a bit of a slap in the face to me. No offer of, 'it's okay we'll do it for you' or 'do you want me to find you a sponsor?'... so it was like great, I have to do this myself. Incidentally I am still asking for help on a regular basis now, I am thinking of going back to counselling, and I have a sponsor, but online. I am still not sur I want to make AA meetings a part of my life. But I am working on possibly arranging a woman's meeting...
I guess I am saying don't feel bad if it requires more effort than you think it should. I feel like the non addict people around me don't get it or understand the effort it takes (and when I say effort, it isn't like a job, it just requires occasional attention, most of which I get here). And this place does help with the accountability. That seemed so much more important to me in the early days but it is still there. Whenever I am away from this place my mind starts drifting.
Oh, and the best advice I got was from Job... to tell someone whenever I had thoughts of drinking. At the time it seemed silly because I had them all the time. But I did it. I just stopped pretending I was okay and admitted that those thoughts do happen, and I swear they went away much quicker than if I kept them to myself.
Glad you popped in Hux, it is nice to see you. I hope you find the support you think you need, whether that is just here or face to face somewhere. I bet there'll be some great addiction agencies where you are and they often offer face to face support and group sessions too, usually non recovery method specific.