For me the plan was less about safety and physical security, and more about my emotions.
I was physically fine, have a good job etc.
It was hard though because I could not love him enough to make him want sobriety, or want to save the marriage.
The affair shocked me into recovery from my relationship (I had been in therapy, individually a long time).
I was working so hard on me for the whole relationship, that I did not see, or have the capability to understand that just because I was working hard and wanted the relationship, did not mean he did.
As a result self-care for me around this was very hard....I still had the focus in the wrong place.