Welcome Tiger. Years ago when I finally stopped drinking I needed to get honest about my drinking at all times, part of that was eliminating the idea it was fun especially towards the end. For your future benefit REMEMBER how you feel now and the coming days so you don't have to repeat it. I was told and believe to this day that I was getting sober for only ME. Perhaps it seems selfish but the other things will fall into place if we're successful. There are people who are perhaps because of their drinking and undisciplined life argue about their not a fit for AA. Fine the doors are always open and it has helped millions world wide for many years. These forums certainly are a big help for many with a lot of helpful people available. BE WELL