Mentium

My BS detector was well into the red tonight. I wasn’t in the best of moods to begin with, but the meeting started with the organiser doing a guilt trip thing about how the group was going to close if more people didn’t help (I have only been going to this particular one for six weeks..my period of sobriety so far - but it seemed a pretty vibrant sort of group to me..). This was followed by a ‘share’ insinuating… well actually more than insinuating. ..that without the ‘programme’, including the higher power thing, the best one could hope for is being ‘dry’ without being actually ‘sober’.

This was followed by a visitor from another area doing a share that was more like a religious revival outburst than a rational ..or even a bit emotional..sharing of herself and her recovery.

I already make huge allowances against my better judgement and existential outlook by going to AA meetings as I am an atheist through and through and I even smile when people suggest that I might be one who ‘came to believe’, as AA would have it. I go because for the most part the peer support is what it is about and that has helped me get and stay sober for a good few months now. However tonight was simply ******* bonkers in my book and I could not cope. So I left at the break half way through.

Of course one worries about other consequences – and AA tends to play on them of course. I don’t plan to drink or anything – have gained too much and there is too much to lose, but I am not sure about going back.

I will leave that decision until tomorrow at the soonest. I have a few buddies who are members – a couple of whom are agnostics and one atheist so perhaps they will have words of wisdom I lack at the moment.

Anyway excuse the rant. I feel mightily pissed off at the moment.

Any thoughts about coping with the stupidity on offer there at times much appreciated.