Thanks for the update INH!
I like your random thought tangent... I was thinking about a similar sort of thing today, except I don't mind people being dependent on me, I volunteer myself for all sorts of things, but I like to be totally independent myself, but at the same time I am resentful that I have no one to depend on! I am odd like that, contrary. I think I have a people pleasing streak in me. I always try to help other people out and am surprised when others don't do the same. An example of this was helping out at my sisters concert. I wasn't really able to do it this year so I suggested to my mum that she do my previous role and she basically just said no. And there have been numerous times at work when I have done stuff voluntarily when my colleague has just said no. I think a lot of the time I don't consider saying no is an option, like people won't like me if I don't or I am always putting other people's needs before my own. But another thing is that I have no idea what my needs are... It used to be just to get enough drinking time. Now I have no idea.
Btw, I have been living on a mattress on the floor and no bedroom furniture for the past 4 or 5 years. Ever since I bought my house. I planned to live in it as it was til I had finished my degree (which incidentally I still haven't done) but then I had damp problems so ended up stripping the paper and now I just have bare walls, with plaster falling of in places, and my furniture amounts to one 2 seated sofa, a dining table, a table my mum got as a wedding present many years ago and my computer desk. Oh and the chair I am sitting on
There are some pleasant things about having minimal surroundings, though most people tend to think I am weird. It has always been an issue between my mum and me. When I told her about the alcoholism bit she started on the house issues again and offered to come and help me fix it up, like I wouldn't have been an alcoholic if I had paint on the walls. I have never been able to get her to see that how I feel on the inside is nothing to do with my external surroundings and it is not like one effects the other.
On the subject of studying, yeah my parents, or more specifically my dad was one of those who stopped any parental support at 18. In part it was because he didn't like my boyfriend but also he had just divorced my mum and she had been the one who looked after the purse strings when my sisters went to college. I paid my own way through college, but I was lucky cos that was in the days when there were no fees for people from the EU so all I had to pay was my living expenses. I don't know how kids do it now. I have two years left on an OU degree and it is going to cost me 10 grand. I have no idea how I can afford this but I want to try. It has taken me so long with my general fecklessness that I missed the point when the government withdrew funding. But seeing as all my education up to this point has been free it is not that much to ask for.
Hope everyone else is well. It be lovely to hear from Hux and Job...