I am almost done with it and as horrible as it has felt to write it all and have to think about it all, I feel better having gotten it out.
I was afraid of my memories I guess and gave a lot more power to them than I should have.
I think I was and am fearful more of remembering the times that were good and feeling sad about those than I was fearful of remembering the bad...
Just editing it now and ready to send it off. I really like my new lawyer and I feel confident in her. If this is useful to her to take the wind out of his sails with the accusations and allegations that have NO basis in fact (remarkable how a judge can say "oh he's not an expert or a psychologist but he was married to her for 10 years so he can offer his opinion about her mental state") then I am all for her having every bit of history there is to have...
In the end it is only going to help me bc I have nothing at all to hide...