Old 10-08-2013, 07:49 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
freshstart57
Self recovered Self discovered
 
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
RecoveryNow, I started my sobriety by putting up a wall between what I wanted - sobriety, and what my beast wanted - to continue drinking. Separation was my goal. This way, my beast could be beastly, and I could get on with my reintegration with the land of the living. I don't think that there was a battle planned, or a victory required for my success.

As I look back, I don't think that the idea of a struggle or a battle would have helped me. My beast was not something to be defeated. Instead, it is just something to be accepted. It got quieter over time, surely, but I didn't require this for me to succeed. That was a good thing, too, because the AV got loud at times in the beginning. I had decided that was not going to matter any more. I had made my plan, my commitment.

Loud beast, quiet beast, meh. It really didn't matter anymore. My commitment to being sober in the present moment outweighed anything the voice could ever say.
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