I will do a full cost benefit analysis of the pro's and con's of drinking, did one ages ago but clearly I've been ignoring it! I need to be more resolute and tell my self to F-Off if the sneaky voice tries to catch me out. 'I'll take a day off of recovery' (it's never just a day though) and carry on later with it is a common BS line I tell myself. I'll go to the gym again tomorrow and if I can face it, what with deciding to drink over and over again and wasting my time and everybody elses time before, go back to Smart.
More than anything I need to make this decision an unbreakable oath. A 100% no going back decision. That way when I get swamped with the desire to have a beer or 10, the option is not even on the table. My addiction monster loves indecision almost as much as alcohol! I'm sceptical yet hopeful at the same time, the scepticism is understandable but is not helpful. Optimism in the face of the beast, fake optimism if necessary is needed. Indecision=Defeat.
Thanks for the reply FG, much appreciated.