Hiya Chris
You sound like a lovely guy who just needs a little extra help.
If nothing is working perhaps ( and I don't know if you have tried it or if it hasn't worked for you) but a psych or counsellor can do wonders by just sitting there and listening.
I can feel your angst between the lines and you seem to be doing everything possible ,
Someone else may have a better idea
I know there is a stigma attached to ' shrinks' etc but i work in a hospital and they really do help some people.
You have nothing to lose really Chris , do you ? So maybe it may work , cos you sound to me like you are doing all the right things , but still doing it tough
If it's affecting other areas of your life : ie financially , you are heading down a slippery slope.
You can do this and pull back before you go down further , you are really trying though and that's a positive in itself.
Keep posting here , especially when the tractor beam headlights fire up ...
It could just be a trigger to stop that behaviour , once you get chatting , time flies.
There are just soooo many good people in here that can talk you through it .
So glad you posted xxxxx
I know you can turn this around.
