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Old 10-07-2013, 04:20 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
MiSoberbio
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Posts: 124
This is a good time to share something I recently wrote to another SR member in private: I've known for quite a while that I have a major disconnect between my body and my mind, and that I needed to work on not only integrating myself holistically, but to also process a lot of the emotional pain that's stored in my body. Memories aren't only stored in the brain – they're in our bones, muscles, organs, etc., as well. Although talk therapy has been such a godsend for me, there were so many things that I simply could not touch in sessions with my psychologist.

So, I finally started doing physical therapy (therapeutic massage) about two weeks ago and I'm starting feel a rush of emotions and "other stuff" that I can't quite name yet. I'm extremely sensitive lately, sad sometimes (but not depressed), and sometimes quite angry. [I was forewarned that it might be like this for a while, so I'm not anxious or overly concerned.] I believe that I'm starting to process some of the pain that's been locked in me for decades... it's not pleasurable, but I already have the experience of the process I went through (and continue) in my Nar-Anon groups and with my psychologist, so I'm not fighting it.

I'm not writing this as a suggestion, but only to share my experience. If you are interested I will update you on how the massage therapy (which I think is called "biodynamism" in the States) continues to affect me. I should definitely also note that I'm not only feeling "bad stuff" -- I also am a bit more relaxed and much more social, and more open to new things (like saying "yes" when I'm invited to a party rather than staying in and working).

One of the greatest gifts that I've received from my recovery has been an understanding that my mind and my thoughts are only a part of what makes me who I am; my body is not just an appendage of my mind, a tool that "I" use to get around in the world, or a husk that encases "me". My body IS me, or rather, it is a part of the holistic me. I think one of the affects of being abused as a child (and, I suppose, as an adult, as well) is that one tends to dissociate from the body and hide in the mind. I now know how damaging that's been to my health, and I hope that I'm beginning to heal.
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