Welcome lettherebelight. I was a wreck when I joined here - drinking 24/7. I never thought an online community could make such a difference in my life. The people here helped me get to my feet and encouraged me every step of the way. I hope you'll find it gives you hope to be here - we all care and want to see you heal.
I was terrified of life without drinking too. So I kept going with it. Long after my 30's I clung to it as a way to cope. As a result, I destroyed my life and had to rebuild everything. This doesn't have to be you. Glad you are here.