I have made every mistake possible trying to "save" JJ. In the last 3-4 years, I hid his indiscretions from my husband, and tried everything I could possibly do to control him. He stole from us three times and had to do jail time for two of those three. It took him hitting his most rock bottom and spending 4 months in jail not knowing if he was going to get probation again or face prison. He chose to stay in this program and he is now realizing how much life he has wasted on drugs. I had to let go and it was the hardest, most painful and terrifying thing I have ever done.
I advise those parents of young adults to NOT try and fix them but hold your boundaries. Believe it or not, once the drugs leave their system, they start to be human again. It takes time, patience (something I still struggle with!) and FAITH.
Also for me: I never stopped loving JJ and I visited him every weekend while he was in jail. I also visit him each week in rehab. These visits are helping me forge a new relationship with my adult son.