Originally Posted by
thotful 
Thanks. I'm taking the thoughts to heart. Here's to letting go of going to a poisoned well for water to drink.
That really says it all. I see you so desperately wanting to control them and the situation and that just doesn't work. We can't change other people, no matter how hard we try. I've found in these types of family relations, you're also damned if you do, and damned if you don't. My AM thought I should do something a different way, so I would. And then that way was wrong and I should have done it the first way. It'll make you crazy. Right now just work on accepting them for who they are and establishing boundaries. Maybe, "If you can respect my wife and our relationship, then that's great, but if you won't, then I cannot participate in xyz." or you can't continue the phone call or whatever. You have chosen her as your life partner, and whether she's ******* crazy or not is beside the point. This is YOUR wife, YOUR life together.