Smtowngirl---I can just feel your anger and resentment coming through your written words! I know that I am many others can relate to how you are feeling, right now. This amount of resentment translates to incredible stress and is soo emotionally draining.
Of course, he isn't drinking AT you---he is just doing what alcoholics do--they drink. When they have overwhelming compulsion to get that next drink---that is the only priority they are thinking of. In the distorted reality of the alcoholic brain--they are so much in denial of how much they really hurt us.
I hope you can get to some alanon meetings--you need some attention for the damage that the disease has done to you. You will actually start to feel better for getting support for yourself.
Yes, it is hard being a single parent--but, sometimes it is actually easier without the pressure from the alcoholic on your shoulders.
dandylion