Old 10-02-2013, 01:51 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Ptcapote
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Location: Washington, DC
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Originally Posted by GracieLou View Post
I know two couples that are married. One set got sober together, the other separately.

The one that got sober together are like velcro-kids. They walk, talk and act alike although I see more confidence out of him then her. They hold hands and stroke each others back or leg at meetings. I don't need to see that at an AA meeting, married or not. They have been together like 15 years so I guess what ever works. I think he has like a year or year and a half, she has almost a year.

The other two have been married for years and years. When they go to meetings together they sit at separate tables. He sits with the guys, her the girls. They also have separate home groups and they go to separate meetings alone. They are married at home and in life but in AA their recovery is still their own. I think that is why it works so well.

I feel we are drawn to other recovering alcoholics because they understand our issues. They have been there and done that. But what we do, say and act outside the rooms is another ball of wax. I am not saying it can't work.

I agree with this "When you date another alcoholic your odds are good but the goods are odd." But if the odd works, then it works. Let it go and if it is meant to be, it will be.
Great post, Gracie, thank you! I also have a velcro couple in one of my meetings and I (very unspiritually) want to scream, "Get a room already!!" when they're frolicking during meetings.

But, yes, your point is a good one. The "successful" AA couples I know definitely work their own programs with their own groups of friends and points of support. I think that would kind of be essential as with the two friends I am speaking about in my OP, their sponsors are even now bickering with each other over the advice they're giving to their respective sponsees regarding the relationship. That's just way, WAY, too incestuous for my pea brain to handle. Way too much stress and competing agendas, at least to my mind.

My life was enough of a soap opera when I was drinking, I certainly didn't stop to star in one again...

Anyway, thanks again!
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