Soup, my sister is addicted to opiates, and I have dated addicts, and one thing I have discovered that helps to give me peace of mind is to accept, as much as possible, that I have no control over another person's struggle with addiction. I, too, am a work in progress, and often I slip on this, but I do believe that ultimately I can't force help on an addict--the desire for help has to come from inside them, and they have to find that help for themselves. All I can do is protect myself from the roller coaster of loving someone who is an addict by setting healthy boundaries. When I feel a need to police the addict and figure out when/what/how much they are using, I try to remind myself that I can't control or cure someone else's addiction. All I can do is decide what kind of behavior I will and won't tolerate. Just my experience.