Ptcapote

I was debating where to post this but figured I would put it here because it is not necessarily a Newcomers topic.

So as I am approaching my eighth month of sobriety I was admittedly starting to think about what it would be like to get in a relationship again. Mind you, I have no plans to do so as I still have a ton of work to do on myself but as I watch a couple of close AA friends going through the dance of dating each other, it makes me wonder. Both have a decent amount of sober time (2 years and 4 years, I believe).

Specifically, it makes me wonder if dating a fellow alcoholic is a really good or really bad idea. To my mind, at least at this point, I highly doubt I could ever be with someone who drank. Nor would I necessarily want to feel uncomfortable discussing my past with someone who has no experience of alcoholism.

HOWEVER.

Watching these two friends try to date each other has been enlightening, and not necessarily in a good way. He is a better friend to me than she so I can compare his “normal” behavior versus his “dating” behavior better. He’s like a strung-out prize Poodle…on steroids. One minute attentive, over-the-top with the attention and devotion, the picture of a guy any girl would want. And the next? Completely self-deprecating (not in a good way), apologizing constantly for seemingly nothing, distant, and super snarky. I keep asking him what he has done with my friend but he doesn't seem to see what I am talking about. And her? From confident, seemingly well-adjusted, calm woman to bat sh*t insane in the blink of an eye. No doubt his erratic behavior is feeding her insecurities but…dear Lord. I miss my non-neurotic friend in her too.

The thing is that most of the others in my group of (AA) friends witnessing this are like, “Yeah, that’s fairly typical behavior for two drunks dating. Brings out the worst in both of them.”

So then what’s the point? Does this mean both of them should be in AA and Alanon?

Do two drunks ever make a right?