Old 10-01-2013, 07:14 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Kindeyes
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
There has been lots of great insight in the posts above. Each handling the situation the way they feel they need to handle it.

As far as the sanctity of marriage goes........as with everything, there are limits. A very sick brain will say "sanctity of marriage above all else". That sick thinking kept me trapped in a bad marriage with an addict for five years. I was young. I was ignorant. I was the product of my upbringing at that point in my life. I tried everything that I knew how to do at the time to save the marriage......but I was giving up all of myself trying.

After divorcing my XAH I met and married a emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, physically healthy man. We have been married for 28 years......so those who might say (or think) that marriage is not respected here on SR......are simply exposing their own ignorance. (And by the way....I use the term ignorance not as an insult.....as I admitted my own ignorance earlier in this post.....we all own a degree of ignorance.....it simply means we don't know....and none of us can know it all.)

My point is that being married to a healthy, productive man is so very different from being married to an addict who doesn't want to quit. Unfortunately, my XAH is still addicted 30 years later. I have compassion for him but am very grateful that I had the courage and wisdom to understand that I could not control him and that divorce for me was the appropriate action. Although life has still dealt its share of sorrow in my life.....I have been blessed to have my dear husband by my side, facing those hardships for the last 28 years.

Make whatever decision you can live with......I too vacillated when making the decision to divorce my XAH......I vacillated for a very long time. But once my mind was made up, wild horses couldn't drag me off my course to improve my life. It was scary as heck but I have no regrets.

Take care of you. You and your husband will be in my prayers this morning.

gentle hugs
ke
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