He is going to die alone
I have been off and on this forum for a couple of years. Good months. Bad months. RAH has had periods of longer sobriety (a year). But then in the last year months of ok then a couple of weeks of not so good. Although we make good money (his salary) our finances are a mess. We have been Chapter 13 for a couple of years. But due to his inability to control his spending (do we see a pattern here?) we will have to go into Chapter 7 and sell our home. A month ago he was in the ER due to being so drunk he could barely stand. Met with our GP who helped him with finding a therapist. His hair is falling out and turning white (52) due the alcoholism so he has patches of scalp showing through now. Dr. Gave him Biotin to start taking so it wouldn't get worse. Started attending AA again on a regular basis. Like all co-dep. I thought there was hope. That we could work on the finance thing together and move on. I just wanted to get through until May when our youngest graduates high school. But again, we are back to hiding booze, denying his behavior.
I have to get over myself. I am well known local politician. I am sure that many people know about his problem (EMS has been called about 3 times in the last two years and we are a small town). But the idea of EVERYONE knowing my business just bugs me. If I want to stay in office (I do get paid a little bit) I will have to find a home in our town. Without him. I have to move on. I have to get strong and not give a f*ck as to what people say. Or maybe start fresh in a new town and resign.
I need to get my life back. Start attending Alanon more often. His father died of alcoholism in his late 50's. He is on his way there. I just can't be there when it happens. Give me stories of hope.