WTBH, I don't want to come off as blaming the victim, so please know that my response is with the best of intentions.
I agree with everything Tuffgirl says. First, I know it's hard and I know these interventions are expensive, but it's past time for you to get intensive one-on-one help to help you mitigate the trauma of having grown up with a terribly dysfunctional FOO and then having partnered with an abusive alcoholic. You need more than the girls' therapist, you need someone for you alone. Everything I know about this process is based on the fact that until I was able to get this help for myself, every interaction I had with my xNPD was escalated, at top volume, and ended with me in a near panic attack. I spent so much time thinking/worrying/venting about him that should have been spent managing my immediate problems. Ten years of this regardless of whether or not he was targeting me with his aggression -- and my nerves were so frayed. I ran on caffiene and cortisol.
You *must* learn to detach from his behavior. He's an *******, a worm, an abuser. This is what he does -- you don't have to stay plugged into it -- you just expect it. You must stop being shocked and indignant every time he repeats and repeats his patterns of abuse. You know his MO so well you can probably predict it to a T. That said, he does what works to manipulate you -- and that means needling and provoking your sore spots and open wounds. The reason that individual counseling *just for you* by a therapist that specializes in trauma is so important is to heal those old wounds on your time, so he can't dig into the cracks left behind by your crappy FOO and push every one of your buttons and pull every one of your strings. His power right now is in manipulating you like a puppet. You have to cut the strings, and a therapist will help you find all those strings and the scissors to cut them with.
Second, you need witnesses. Whether that means having someone there with you, or you recording every interaction. Whether or not the recordings are legal -- whatever. The point is that with objective evidence, he can't continue to throw you under the bus.
If I were you, I would explore filing a restraining order against the neighbors. And honey, MOVE. Stop throwing up obstacles. It's Jennifer Lopez "Enough" time. This guy is scary -- TAKE CARE OF YOU. You can find the time and the will and the money to do it with. Gather your resources. Do it.