Originally Posted by m1k3

..... I found the chapter to be insulting.

It minimized my pain and my opinion, and placed me in the position of supporting her in her recovery.

It was not written in a way to be supportive of the spouses of alcoholics. To me the whole chapter was quacking.

Originally Posted by Aeryn

I find the chapter insulting. I feel it exudes the attitude that woman is merely an extension of a man and only valued in society when she is married with children....yes I realize it doesn't explicitly say that but the attitude is there for me (and my feeling is valid) and it's yucky. It reminds me of a woman with her hair in a pink bow, make up done slaving over a hot stove waiting her her "man" her LIFE to arrive home - "oh woe is me I've been without him 8 hours, how oh how did I survive?". A woman is not merely an extension of her husband nor is her life dependent on "standing by her man" - if that is still the attitude today wow we have not come a long way at all. A woman does not need to be married to be successful nor does being married or not married define her. Nor do we need to have kids to have meaning in our lives. If the "traditional nuclear family" means any of that I personally want no part of it - I am sick of being judged by what man I can get, how well I stand by him or how many kids a do or don't have. I am so much more than that...and I really thought that type of thing ended in the 1950s.

I really hate how in those excerpts the "wives" (I even hate the title "to the wives" - aren't we PARTNERS - and equal ones?) are all about the husband - what he is doing if he is drinking - oh woe is me, my husband defines me.

So what do I think of Chapter 8 - as the phrase goes "take what you want and leave the rest"...in this case I left the entire thing.