OnlyOneOroblem---when I step back and look at the "big Picture" of what you are going through---it reminds me that early recovery, for so many of us, is like a walk through He**.
Take a marriage that has run off into a ditch; add a newly sober husband whose brain has been addled with alcohol (see Hammer's analysis); add us, who have prayed for sobriety as the "magic" answer to all the pain. It is like walking into a bear's den without a stick.
I wouldn't give the first year of recovery to a "monkey on a rock" (A Dave Letterman quote).
I can only say to you---detach as much as possible---so that you can breathe and think.
As for the chapter in question in the big book----When I first read it, my hair nearly fell out! Then, as I read it again--and again--to make sure I wasn't imagining things, I think I know what is so jarring----I think it is the TONE of the writing---It is soo "Ozzie & Harriet". Yes, it was the tone of the times. We just have to ignore that--in my opinion.
OnlyOne Problem, I think your husband was (probably) admonishing you to be more patient, tolerant, and understanding. Whoa there---you will definitely have to take this up with Mr. Quackerson----or, on reflection---maybe just ignore him and detach......
dandylion