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Old 09-24-2013, 08:45 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: brampton,ontario
Posts: 5

Thanks for your words of advice.I have so much more to say but I must take this day by day.I just got out of an operation on my body that involved cutting my chest open just Monday evening. My husband,who is unemployed ,drove me to surgery at the hospital roughly 45 mins away from where we live .i had no one else to drive me in my family as i didn't want to bother anyone as they would be at work and my mother is 74 and doesn't like driving across the city. I was very worried and stressed out about going for the operation as i was having bad dreams a couple days ago such as my back tooth coming loose and falling out of my mouth which means "death" in my ancestor's dream sister ,who also shares dream premonitions dreamt she was driving and saw a little child with a black helmet lying dead under a bridge just a few days prior. So can you imagine the mental /physical fatigue i was under? Well, instead of having a husband that is calm and comforting and a shoulder to lean on at this scary time in my life i have an alcoholic husband. He started his ranting and raving about not being able to find a pair of jeans to fit him and started yelling and complaining, hunting through the closets and drawers and tried to make me feel guilty for not buying him any clothes although he collects roughly $600 a month on welfare and gives me close to nothing out of it for his living expenses. I bought him clothes a couple of times but all he does is destroy them by getting car grease, swimming pool chlorine etc. On them or has out grown them because he went up from 170lbs of body builder stripper male model look to 250lbs of natural muscle,fat and pot belly mostly from alcohol,binge eating ,and a sedentary lifestyle. I told him i wasn't going to buy him anymore clothes as he gets money and he should take his time and money and buy pants for himself instead of sitting around playing video games all day and besides, he destroyed half the clothes i bought him, sometimes on purpose when he was drunk and tantruming.
. I have 5 children biologically and 1 that i "adopted" 4 doors away who i've mothered like one that came right outta me for the past 18yrs. That poor boy's mama died of breast cancer when he was 2yrs old and his dad became mentally ill due to the grieving. His dad remarried and had another child but it was a doomed,disfunctional marriage from start to finish and the boy was always in the middle of chaos and fighting when home and he had no brother ,just an older sister and younger sister So he naturally lived at my house where he "adopted" 4 brothers and little sister, all different mixes of ethnicity from his white skin,blonde hair and blue eyes.
My eldest son died tragically in a fatal car accident only 2 yrs ago that was the other driver's fault and me and the kids are still heavily grieving.
Anyway, back to the story: he made me late and very stressed out before this surgery and I had to race on the highway in severe emotional distress. These are the situations that many a fatal car accident are made of. And I kept worrying if I died under the knife I had no will made and this man I married less than a year ago would end up dumping my children aside,taking all the money and squandering it on a lifestyle of hookers and booze like he did before he met me. Anyway,before I left the car into the hospital ,I gave him $120 to buy some pants,lunch,pay for parking,dinner for the family at Swiss Chalet,and catch a movie. When he came to get me I found out he went to the bar and drank all the money away!I'll tell you more about the ride home and what happened all night but that's another story. He is fully aware of his manipulation and my good hear the takes for granted . That's why I've nick named myself the nurse with the hole in the purse!
holenursepurse is offline