Yes you were cheated, we know what it feels like to be cheated. My friend wrote the other day about her aging father and how hard it was on her because he was such a great dad. I told her I was sorry he was ill and to cherish her good memories because I wouldn't know what it would be like to have good memories and miss my Dad.
I hope you think more about attending some meetings, and try to work through the program, it could only help. Read through the stickies above too, and my blog as well. You have to take care of yourself because only you know what you need.