You aren't the cause of her drinking. You may be her excuse, but I assure you, leave, and she'll find another. It won't be her. It never is; only a recovering alcoholic learns to accept the problem isn't with other people.
You are destroying your children by staying with her. Any woman who is abusive towards their own child (and yes, that kind of discussion is abusive) isn't worth staying with, period. Any spouse who is abusive towards her significant other (yes, you) needs to be left to her own devices.
Stop accepting her abuse, for you and your children. Get out.